I can’t say I really like the term “Cougar”. Is there a term for an older man dating a younger woman? Should there even BE a term at all? Shouldn’t all that matter is that 2 adults love and respect each other, regardless of age?
My dating world has been stuck in the “not happening” zone, although I did have a close call with a guy I met at work. I was working on a show for a few weeks recently, and New York “NY” sat across from me. Occasionally, out of the corner of my eye I would notice him staring at me. NY is 28, and well….from New York. One Sunday, while at work, we had a chance to get to know each other. The office had only a few people in it, and we would talk about various things…..like our family. He talked about his parents with such great affection, that it really touched my heart. He father is a musician, and his mother is a psychic. No wonder I liked him. What a colorful family!
One day we were talking about tattoos, and he came over to my desk to show me his glorious art. He has one that’s a bunch of small blackbirds, because it reminds him of his grandmother and her love for those birds. He showed me the tattoo that both he and his father have. I thought that was very cool that they share that between them. I even mentioned that my younger daughter and me were considering getting matching tattoos when she turns 18. I showed him the design that I want, which garnered his stamp of approval.
The next day, when he came to the office, he stopped by my desk first thing and gave me some lotion that is specific for tattoos. This was “just because” we were talking about tattoos. Later that day I had gone to the commissary for lunch and brought it back to my desk so I could continue working. NY was two steps behind me. I noticed that he had gotten my favorite diet soda. I said to him, “Oh man! I didn’t know they had that there. Well, I’ll just get some tomorrow.” I then proceeded to bury my nose back into my computer. Five minutes later, NY walks up to me and says, “Here ya go!” and hands me a cold can of THAT soda. My heart melted.
Who DOES that? And you are HOW old? It’s obvious you aren’t from L.A.! It’s also obvious that you were raised by wonderful parents, and raised to be a gentleman. For the next two days, I couldn’t get NY off my mind. I actually had a cougar crush on this guy. I’ve been trying hard not to call him a “kid”, because let’s face it…he IS 28 years old. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was “into” me. I was vacillating back and forth in my mind if he could possibly be interested in some one a “little” older.
On the last day of work we started talking about music. This guy knows ALMOST as much about music as I do. I was impressed. He knows who all the heavy hitters are. He was asking some of the others sitting by him if they knew who “The Cars” or “Def Leppard” or some other groups were. They didn’t know! Then he decides that I MUST have some of the music that’s on his computer. He begins to load up my jump drive with all these rare Led Zepplin tunes. Be still my beating heart young sir! You are making my knees weak!
A little later in the day, I was sitting by myself, getting some work done. He approached me and asked if I had plans for the weekend. I said that I wasn’t sure, but I might be open. “Why?”, I asked.
“A few of us are going to get together on Saturday for a little wrap party. You should come.”, he says.
Later that night, as we are cleaning out our desks, and packing up our stuff, NY asked me again if I was going on Saturday. I said, “I don’t know NY, why does it matter?’. He says, “Because I really want you to go.”
“Well, if I don’t have any other plans, I’m sure I’ll be able to stop by.” I said.
About 10 minutes go by and as NY is walking out the door, he turns to me and says, “I’ll see you Saturday”, then with a smile, he waves at me. My girlfriend leans over and says, “I totally picked up on that”. Could it be? I don’t know…I’ve read things into situations that never worked out, so I didn’t want to make that mistake again! I value our friendship!
Saturday night rolls around, and who’s the first person I see as I walk up to the restaurant? With arms wide open, he yells my name, and gives me a big hug. We are all sitting around, enjoying our drinks and chit-chat, when I ask him how his folks are. He said they are great. I ask if he’s spoken to his mother lately, and he said that he spoke to her that morning. Then he mentions that he told his mother about me.
“You did? What did she say?”, I said.
In a New York accent he imitates her…”I gotta meet this girl!”
What? He told his mother about me. Again, not trying to read something into this, I just played it off like we are just friends, and he’s telling his mother about a new friend he made.
We then proceed to go to another bar, and that’s when I saw him actually turn into the 28 year old that he is. Not in a bad way mind you! He was having a good time, taking shots, and drinking a lot. I didn’t have any problem with that. He was not obnoxious…just having fun. He didn’t pay me any attention at this point either. That’s when I felt he really wasn’t into me. And that was ok. My friend and I decide to leave, and NY gives me this big hug goodbye. He said that we’ll keep in touch. At this point, I’m just keeping an open mind, and if anything, above all else…I have a new friendship. I believe a good friendship is the basis to many more good things. Hopefully I will see and visit NY again soon.
Once Upon A Date In L.A. 