As I write this, I am feeling really bad about myself. I feel like there is no hope for anyone to care for let alone fall in love with me.
I try my hardest to stay positive, to actually believe that the universe will bring my soul mate into my life. I do work to better myself – mentally & physically, but I don’t see any results.
I feel stuck.
I feel alone.
My heart aches.
I am in despair.
Well, I had my date with Brian last night. I thought it went well, but I didn’t feel a spark with him. I think there is a possibility of friendship, but that would probably be about it.
It began when we met at my local Corner Bakery Café. He saw me standing by the front door, approached me, said hello, and that was it. No handshake, no hug, no nothing!
Once inside, I asked him if he’d ever been to this place. He said he hadn’t, but he’s been to someplace similar. I went up to the cashier, placed my order, then turned around to see if he was ready to place his. Brian was still looking up at the menu board, with his hands in his pockets. “You ready?” I asked.
“No, I’m still deciding. You get yours and I’ll meet you over there (pointing to the tables outside),” he says.
We went Dutch for dinner. Guess I shouldn’t have assumed he’d pay for dinner. Normally, that’s what a gentleman does. But, you know when you “assume”…it makes an ass out of you and me!
We decided to sit outside since the weather was nice. We talked quite a bit, and he seemed very interested in what I do for a living. We talked about our families, our backgrounds, etc. He’s very close with his adult daughters. Almost to the point where he can’t stand being away from them. He told me a number of times that his family is number one in his life.
The other thing I noticed was how he seemed a little depressed. He would smile if I said something funny, then immediately wipe his forehead and be back to his somber self. He kept putting himself down, saying that his family wasn’t very educated, which meant that he wasn’t very smart, he had fallen into the wrong crowd growing up, and that his now deceased wife was the one who “straightened” him out.
I tried to switch up the conversation. I wanted to make it light, fun, and not so serious all the time. I even made him laugh a few times. But not once did he make me laugh. For me, laughter is the ultimate attraction. I can overlook certain qualities if a man’s sense of humor is the main attraction. I sensed that Brian doesn’t have much of a playful side. If he does, I didn’t see it! He kept asking me about my job, wanting to know if I’ve met any celebrities and what are they like. I said I have, but I don’t like to talk about them. I know it’s interesting to people who aren’t in the business that I am, but until I know and trust you, I’m just not going to go there.
Other than Brian NOT making me laugh, he never gave me a sign that he was interested in me. There was NO touching or body language to show me that he was even remotely interested.
At one point, I needed to use the ladies room. When I came back, I asked if he wanted to walk around. “Sure,” he says. We stopped into a frozen yogurt shop and tasted a bunch of the flavors. I joked around and told him that the mint one tasted like my toothpaste! He laughed but didn’t come back with anything. I decided to get some toothpaste flavored (mint) fro-yo, and went to the register. He followed right after me. Again, he didn’t even offer to pay. I paid for my own.
We walked back to where the outdoor tables and chairs were, ate our frozen yogurt and talked some more. I started to get cold and figured this was a good way to end our date. Brian said that he really enjoyed meeting me, and then we walked together to the parking structure. Once there, we realized our cars were parked at opposite ends. I told him thanks for coming out to my neighborhood, and he said, “Yeah, it was really fun.” With his hands in his pockets, he turned and walked away.
No hug, no handshake, no nothing! He almost looked like he couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I’ve replayed last night in my head, and I really couldn’t tell if he was remotely attracted to me. But that’s ok, even though he was average looking, I wasn’t physically attracted to him. Sometimes, it’s ok to just be friends.
Time will tell if I ever hear from him again.
I did it, yes I did. I signed back up. They got me for 6 months. That’s it. It’s all I can do (or stomach). Just shy of hanging out at Home Depot, I don’t know where else to meet guys. So, once again I’m suckered into online shopping for my soulmate.
I’ve been on the site for about 2 months now and I have my first date tomorrow. I have been talking to Brian for about 10 days. He seems very, very sweet. He’s a widower, and has raised his daughters alone since his wife passed away almost 18 years ago.
If I were to write down on a sheet of paper the pros and cons to this guy, I’d have to say there is only one con. I’m a little concerned he might be too “easy going” for me. I have yet to fell if he gets excited about anything. We have spoken on the phone a few times, and he sounds kind of monotone. I don’t want to jump the gun. I’m not going to pass on him just because of that.
He is driving all the way out my neighborhood to take me out to dinner. I’m so impressed by his manners, and the fact that he LISTENS to me when we speak on the phone. I’m actually quite excited to meet him. Here’s hoping for some kind of spark!
Wish me luck…
Well….that second date never seemed to materialize. He kept putting it off, texting me and saying, “I look forward to seeing you soon.” We were finally able to make a solid date on Monday of Memorial Day weekend. Jerry said that he was going down to San Diego to visit family, and he would be returning home Sunday evening. Ok cool!
Monday finally rolls around, and I’m excited that we are going to have our first “real” date. We were going to have dinner, then go to a movie. Around 10:30am, Jerry sends a text saying that he’s hoping to leave his sister’s house by noon, and he’s looking forward to going out, and he’s let me know when he’s on the road. Hours go by, until it’s 4:30pm. He texts me again saying he left late from his sister’s and he should be home around 6pm. By now, I was furious. When I got that text, I decided I didn’t want to see him. I texted him back saying, “Since I didn’t hear from you, I have made other plans.”
I did in fact go to my friend’s house for a bbq. The bottom line was I wanted to send a message to Jerry that I’m not going to wait around for him for our date. He obviously didn’t have enough respect for me to at least call me and tell me what’s going on.
A couple of days go by when he decides to pick up the phone and give me a call.
Here’s acting like nothing is wrong, and then I had to explain to him how pissed off I was. I asked him why he didn’t bother to call me and let me know what’s going on. This was the very least he could have done! It was so rude. Jerry apologized saying that he got caught up with spending time with his family, and got a late start. I reminded him that we had a date, and if he wasn’t going to make it, he has to TELL me. Don’t just blow me off. He kept apologizing over and over, saying I was right and he was wrong. I’m not one to dwell on things, so I said that we needed to move on.
A few weeks later my birthday was coming up and he told me that he really wanted to take me out, and treat me to a nice day. Well…
Once Upon A Date In L.A. 