Your mom’s house or mine?

After a short hiatus on the dating site, I decided to get back in the saddle in mid January.  I thought, “What the heck, it’s a new year, new life, new people…..RIGHT?”  I keep trying to convince myself that this year is MY year, it’s going to be different, and I’m going to find a man that’s truly amazing.

One thing I have forgotten to mention, and I think it may be of some importance, is this dating site is “free”.  You don’t need to pay to be a member.  I’m starting to think that this attracts a certain quality of people…men AND women.  I have been on the other 2 paying sites, with absolutely no luck!  I felt it was money thrown down the drain!  So, I shifted gears and decided to try this one on for size.

I came across “Mr. Mom’s” profile as a match for me.  He is cute, has 2, very young kids, and is 6 years younger than me.  His bio came across really intelligent with sparks of humor laced throughout.  I thought he was super cool, so I hit him up.  We spent a few days emailing back and forth, when I decided to give him my number.  I could tell there was an instant connection because we were spending every evening on the phone.

We’d talk anywhere from one to three hours! One thing we both talked about was wanting a relationship, and building a friendship.  Yeah, sex is nice, but we both want the whole package.  This has been so refreshing from the other guys who just want to “hit it and quit it”.

Mr. Mom owns his own business, and is a completely dedicated father.  His job allows him the flexibility to pick up his kids from school everyday.  He has them from 1 – 6pm, and keeps them every other weekend.  He puts them first, which I totally respect.  He’s told me that he keeps his contact with his ex to a minimum, even to the point that he will not change a weekend with the kids (for a birthday party, family function, etc) if it means dealing with her.

Mr. Mom has become a really good friend.  Very open, and easy to talk to.  He usually texts me in the morning, and we talk before going to bed.  The other night, I had a horrible migraine, and told him I couldn’t talk on the phone for long.  He told me that if we were together, he would take care of me.  Rubbing my temples, and doing whatever he could to make it go away. Awwwwwww!

Well, after hours spent on the phone, we decided to finally meet up in person.  He had to go to his storage unit  which was about 15 minutes away from me.  I head over in his direction, looking for a coffee shop, anything that would be a good meeting place.  All I could come up with was McDonald’s!  No biggie, it was just the fact that we were finally meeting face to face!

Now, Mr. Mom can talk and talk and TALK.  I’ve never met a man who talks so much!  He said that he doesn’t really like awkward silence too much, even though it wasn’t really awkward between us.  After these long talks, I also determined that he doesn’t have a lot of money.  Even to the point where he probably couldn’t take me to a movie.  Then he got on the topic of his ex.  He told me about the fight with her which made him not want to be with her anymore.  He talked about how the judge “screwed” him in child support payments. He told the judge how she was lying to his face, and the judges reaction was “I don’t care.  You are going to pay her everything she wants”. He said that because he has his kids every afternoon, he’s unable to do step up his business to where he wants it to be.  Bottom line…he’s chosen his kids over money.

Commendable, until he dropped the bomb.  I didn’t see it coming, because he never let it slip.  “I live with my mom”, he says.  Because he pays an “ungodly” amount of child support, he’s unable to provide a home for himself.  F**K…….really?  I know times are tough, but man o man!  My first thought was…..this man’s feet are going to be in my house, eating my food, sitting on my couch with his feet on my coffee table.

We spent about 3 hours in that McDonald’s.  After investing all my time,  and all the hours on the phone, he couldn’t tell me this little “detail” before?  There’s no way I will visit his home. I want a 50/50 partnership!  I didn’t have a problem with him having small children (mine are a lot older), but……living with his mommy is kind of a deal breaker!

Am I being completely unreasonable? He sent me a Valentine’s text yesterday, which I thanked him for, but I didn’t speak to him last night, which is the first time in a while.  I  have been thinking about this a lot.  Should we be only friends?  We could easily be friends with bennys, or should I completely walk away? Oy vey, ugh, fricken’ A, HELP!